Christopher Gryniewicz theory, 'Miley Cyrus: How to Create Your Own' inspired me to refine the theory. I think he's missing a few steps. Plus, Gryniewicz' is written for parents. Mine theory is for the kid.
Here we go. My theory on the ages and stages of a child
star.
STAGE 1: PRENATAL RELOCATION
The mistake many wannabe pop stars make is waiting too long
to start their career. It must start in the womb. If you do not
live in LA, move there. Now. You can try to make this work in New
York, but it's much harder.
STAGE 2: DISNEY IMMERSION (birth - 2)
If for some reason your incredibly selfish parents don't
want to uproot the entire family and move to Hollywood, insist they
feed you a steady stream of The Disney Channel, TMZ, and
Nickelodeon. Begin mimicking the greats-Lizzie McGuire, Hannah
Montana, The Jonas Brothers, and Daisy Duck.
STAGE 3: CONSTRUCT LOOK/FORM BRAND (Version 1.0)
(3-5)
Begin experimenting with hair gels and beauty products.
Construct your brand and personality with help from outside
consultants. Are you cute? Brainy? Musical? Fashionable?
All-American? If your parents still resist moving to Hollywood, run
away. Associate only with pretty people. This is a great
opportunity to enter beauty contests, sing at (private) school
productions, and learn how to wave properly. Encourage your parents
to have another child, who will ultimately be more messed up than
you.
STAGE 4: COMMERCIALS & TV (6-9)
You should be doing TV commercials by now. Make sure your
parents make grooming products a top priority. Begin looking for
physical defects and have them corrected immediately with plastic
surgery. Practice lip-syncing. Hire a personal trainer and a
masseuse. Time to home school.
STAGE 5: BUILD YOUR TWEENER ARMY (10-12)
Watch your weight. Focus on getting a TV show. Your
expiration date -- the dreaded time when one must transition from
child to adult actor -- is ticking away. This is where that Disney
immersion comes in handy. You need a vehicle. You need a tween TV
show.
You need your own personal Hannah Montana.
STAGE 6: CROSSOVER TIME (13 - 15)
Drop out of school. Appear in ads telling your wannabe peers
to stay in school. Date men in their early twenties. Start
lip-syncing empty-headed, synthesized songs in between Disney
programs to attention-deficient neo-pubescent fans. Release your
debut manufactured pop album. Go on tour.
STAGE 7: SKYROCKET TO MELTDOWN (16-18)
Think controversy. This is the time for inappropriate photo
shoots, pole dancing at the Teen Choice awards, getting caught at a
night club at 1:00 A.M., or having naked pictures of yourself
appear on the Internet.
STAGE 8: POST-REHAB ADULTHOOD (18+)
Try one of the following: anorexia, drug abuse, child abuse,
reality TV show, Playboy. Encourage younger siblings to get
pregnant, abuse drugs, or fail miserably at their own manufactured
pop star career.
SamanthaG has her own theory about the meltdown itself. It overlaps with mine and goes into a bit more detail on the downside. Check out her '7 Steps to a Successful Child Star Meltdown' theory.
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thank you so very much because i wish that i will become a soldier and a basketball star